Most of us women are visual entities. Men are no different. On first encounter the eyes of a man will seek you out. If he likes what he sees his eyes will make you his focal point. This is most likely to be the case if you have a well groomed appearance which he finds attractive.
Most women I know want to be noticed. They want to be seen as desirable especially by that special man whom you have you eye on.
Some women may find male attention not only good for the ego but empowering. For women who have a healthy appreciation for male attention but find it painfully difficult to catch his eye here are a few tips to engage in to win him to your side without selling yourself for one night of approval. These steps are simple and within the reach of every woman.
A CHEERFUL PERSONALITY GOES A LONG WAY
Cheerfulness is a powerful factor in winning your eye-candy or anyone to your side. We cannot smile genuinely and remain alone.
Encouraging remarks go hand in hand with a cheerful personality and a positive outlook on life.
During conversation make eye contact but don’t act too desperate. Listen during conversation, smile, show interest in what he is saying. No man can forget a woman who shows interest in what he has to say
Cheerful thoughts do us more good than dreary ones and transform us into the kind of woman a man would WANT to meet without expecting her to sell herself in exchange for his approval.
Perhaps in the past you have been too hard on yourself and this has prevented you from seeing the best in yourself. It is time you take a good and honest look at the wonderful mirrored image of who you really are. I am sure you will be surprised to come face to face with this gentle, wonderful and intelligent person. Perhaps you have been so busy elevating others around you while you put yourself down that the real YOU has become submerged beneath layers upon layers of negative thoughts about yourself that you have forgotten whom you really are and instead began to identify yourself with the pile of negative thinking which has nothing to do with the real you. Well no more! Wash yourself clean of those harmful thoughts and take a good look at who has been there all along.
The good strong and worthwhile you. Not the you that you usually see through eyes of pain, disappointments, disillusionment and failures but the one that you do not take time off to examine and appreciate, the one with hidden potentials. Know that you are wonderfully and beautifully made in the image of our Creator. Knowing who you are is one of the most vital requirements in the art of respecting yourself and making others like you and of course accepting the admiration of your eye-candy without having to sell yourself.
We all have the need to want to enjoy approval and acceptance from others. This is a healthy and normal human need because many of us see ourselves through the eyes of others. Be careful that people see you as you are and not through eyes filled with jealousies, bitterness and their own deep sense of inferiority. The key is to believe in yourself, believe in your inner resources, your inner strength.
A prime motivator for getting others to like you is making an effort to change the things about yourself that you do not like. You cannot feel good about yourself if you have certain character traits, behaviours or attitude which you do not like. Do the following in order to begin vigorously attacking those changeable character traits:
Make two Lists:
- Outline all the reasons why you like and respect yourself.
- In the second list outline all the reasons why you don’t like yourself and find it difficult to respect yourself.
Put the list outlining your good attributes on the wall of your bedroom where you can see it every morning before getting out of bed and every night before falling asleep.
The list outlining the changes you wish to make is the first step in transforming yourself. Now look through that list. If there are certain traits which you can change with your inner strength, begin at once to do so. Do not procrastinate. The longer you put it off the more you will become discouraged and the harder it will be for you to initiate any changes within yourself.
Only when you can come up with a list of self respecting values and behaviours can you feel good about yourself. the woman who feels worthwhile in her own eyes does not sell herself for any man’s approval.
Of course there are times when you will doubt yourself, when your mood will swing downwards, when life will not go the way you have planned or think it should. There are times when you may think that everything is working against you. It is at those times you will doubt yourself the most and you will feel unimportant and miniature. When this happens please don’t rush outdoors seeking approval from the first man who smiles at you. Instead, stay indoors, take out your list of good attributes and remind yourself that despite the occasional disenchantment of life you are still this marvellous woman. Also remind yourself that everyone has those days when nothing seem to be going according to plan or that life simply stinks. That too shall pass away.
ARE YOU YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY
Strive not to judge yourself by other peoples’ negative standards of you, if you hear unkind things about yourself engage in any one of the following options:
-Stop, listen, examine. Is there any truths to what is being said? If there is begin at once to change the behaviour that is inviting negative attention.
The following are some strong don’ts.
DON’T BE A FRAUD
Some people engage in masquerading as someone whom they are not in an effort to be liked, appreciated and welcomed into the in-crowd.
No one trust or like a fake. We all tend to believe that there is a tendency in a fake person to manipulate others. We are wary and suspicious of those whom we think wants to get to know us for less than trustworthy purposes. The fake person can fake it as much as he or she likes but the only person the fake person eventually turns out to fool is themselves. Stick around the same people for too long and someone will eventually spot your falseness and deception. Eventually you will be unmasked and when you are you will feel the full brunt of rejection and disdain.
No one likes to be made a fool of. And that’s exactly what the fake person will be doing when they try to pass off as someone whom they are not. In essence Falseness says ‘I have no respect for your intelligence. You will believe anything I tell you.
Most fake people suffer from deep levels of insecurity or inferiority so they try to assume a definition of themselves which gives them a sense of assurance and self-sufficiency. This gives them the courage to meet others on equal terms.
The sense of isolation which an inferiority complex creates is bridged by identifying ourselves with those whom we think have enviable character traits.
Don’t be something that you are not. Be yourself. Figure out the qualities that make you special and different. Perhaps you have a unique sense of humour or some hidden talent that you are too shy to show others. Act confidently, be friendly and enjoy who you are.
DON’T ACT INFERIOR
Those who suffer from a sense of inferiority suffer agonies at the thought of meeting strangers. We agonise over what to say to them, how to behave. We portray traits of servility stemming from a sense of inadequacy. Most often than not the inferiority sufferer is a people pleaser always striving to be liked by everyone.
DON’T BE ARROGANT
Most people who portray arrogance have a deep sense of superiority. They have a constant need to subjugate others since they find it difficult to accept the value of another person.
A sense of superiority is often based on superficial or outward trappings such as what the other person looks like, the clothes they wear, where they live and so on.
Superiority is actually the opposite end on the spectra of inferiority. Most people who feel the deep need to behave in ways in which they devalue another person are unable to accept their own worth and consequently engage in put-downs to make themselves feel worthwhile.
Superior and inferior people tend to portray the same traits: traits that are unhealthy and push people away instead of drawing people to them. These are some undesirable traits: cynicism, rejection, snobbery and arrogance.
People who are comfortable in their own skin are not inferior or superior. They are friendly and accepting of others.
IF THE MAN YOU SAW ON THE TRAIN……
If the man you saw on the train turned out to be disappointing here are some great places to meet that special man without selling yourself:
Clubs: sports clubs, dance clubs
Social networking sites.
In reference to Social Networking sites: for goodness sake practice caution and extreme care. With all the unsavoury things that go on through social networking I caution care, not desperation. Please act with the outmost responsibly towards yourself. Never go to a secluded place to meet a stranger, it does not matter if you think you are of an advanced responsible age just take good care of yourself. Invite the acquaintance to meet family and friends. Date for a lengthy period of time while you learn more and more about the person’s character and value system before getting yourself emotionally or sexually involved. Please date in public places and not in private out of the way little holes.
When you meet that special man, initially watch your body language don’t give out vibes that you are ready to jump into selling yourself at the first opportunity. A woman ready for a quick roll in the hay is actually a turn off to some men. Don’t think that every man out there is on the prowl. Some are looking for a beautiful stable relationship. If you too are looking for a long term relationship possible marriage here are a few tips to recognize the qualities of Mr. Fit-Well.
Choosing a life partner is one of the most important choices any person must make. The kind of choice you make will resonant in your life for many years.
Mr. Fit-Well may walk straight out of a romantic novel with the face and body of Fabio dripping with sexuality or he may be your average looking man……. he is mature, loyal with a profound sense of responsibility, respect and love towards you. He respects and likes you as a person and enjoys your company. he is supportive of your ambition. He is compassionate and understanding. He knows his strength and intelligence…………. he is not threatened by your strength but values those characteristics as a compliment to his masculinity.
If you want to know more about the qualities that make the best life partners and the kind of potential partner that you should avoid check out my e-book Woman Take Hold of Your Power and Free Yourself on Kindle Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJ54SAQ