LAUGHTER THE BEST MEDICINE

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By Beverly André Davis

The following are actual exam answers written by college students from the United States and Canada:

In the first book of the Bible – Guinessess – Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain once asked: “Am I my brother’s son?”

Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother’s birthmark.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors.

Queen Elizabeth, the Virgin Queen was a great success. When she exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted “Hurrah.

* A little American boy watched his mother try on a new dress “You sure are beautiful,” he assured her. “You look just like Abraham Lincoln!”

-Anonymous

 

 

* The teacher was explaining arithmetic problems and was delighted  to see a tall boy considered the dullest in the class was watching intently. At last he was beginning to understand.

When she had finished she said to him “You were so interested, Cicero I am so proud of you. I am sure you want to ask some questions.”

“Ma’am,” he drawled “I got one to ask. Where do them numbers go when you rub them off the board?

* A woman was scolding her boyfriend on how unromantic he was, to which he replied chuckling “Honey, if this isn’t love, it will have to do until my wife leaves for Europe

* A teacher who had just received her salary, took the money out of the envelope and held it up for the class to see.

“What is this Teddy Jones?” she asked.

“A pay envelope that contains your salary.” Said Teddy Jones.

“Any questions children?” asked the teacher.

“Yes, please teacher,” said one little boy with a puzzled frown “Where do you work?

* A man thanking his guest  at his wedding ceremony: “I thank you from the bottom of my heart and from my wife’s bottom also.”

* Sign on rear of students car:  I may be slow but I am in front of you.

* The doctor was examining the old battle-worn Master Sergeant whose chest was decorated with as many medals and ribbons as the cloth would allow.

“How many  wars have you been through, Sergeant?” asked the doctor.

“Three,” replied the old veteran, “and I saw combat action in each one of them.”

“Tell me,” said the doctor “How do you feel when you kill a man?”

“Not bad, Doc,” answered the Sergeant. “How about you?”

-anonymous

* A woman’s boyfriend was leaving her and she asked him:

“Honey are you walking out on me?”

He replied “honey at this rate I am not walking. I am running.”

* A worried businessman sought the ear of a psychologist, explaining “All day long I eat grapes”.

“So what.” Scoffed the psychologist. “Everybody eats grapes.”

The Businessman gasped “What! Off the wallpaper?”

-anonymous

* When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a light pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim but a man rushed in and pushed her back “Step aside lady.” He barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.”

The woman watched him for a few minutes then tapped his shoulder “Pardon me,” she said, “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”

-anonymous

* Said the newlywed to her excited hungry groom:

“Gee, darling. I can’t wait to prepare dinner for you.

How do you like your Kentucky Fry,

Original  or Spicy

* It’s not the men in your life that counts but the life in your men.

-Mae West

* A grade teacher told a five year old boy to spell ‘cow’  and he couldn’t.

The child went home and complained to his dad. The angry dad went to the teacher and demanded to know why she gave his son such a big word like ‘cow’ to spell, instead of giving him something small like ‘Mosquito.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO HANDLE ANY PROBLEM

 

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By Beverly André Davis

Many years ago in ancient Bagdad an important Businessman sent his helper to the market. But soon the man returned trembling and agitated and said to the Businessman “Down in the market I was followed by a woman in the crowd and when I turned around, I saw it was Death that followed me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Master, please lend me your horse, for I must hasten away to avoid her. I will ride to Samarra and there I will hide and Death will not find me.”

The Businessman lent him his horse and the helper galloped away in a cloud of dust. A little later the Businessman himself went to the market and saw death standing in the crowd. He said to her “Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant?”

“That was not a threatening  gesture” said death “It was only a start of surprise, I was astonished to see him in Bagdad for I have an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.”

This Bagdad legend typifies our need for an escape route from the trials and difficulties of life. We run to escape and we do this in a number of ways: Alcohol, drugs, excessive sleep.

We feel overwhelmed by the pressures, responsibilities and hectic pace of life. Burnt out and discouraged many of us feel we can no longer cope. In today’s fast pace living and economic struggles many of us feel under pressure on a daily basis which makes us feel a sense of hopelessness and helplessness. We try actively to drown our problems in forgetfulness. Irrespective of our selected escape route, like the Bagdad  helper we cannot run away – we too have an appointment. Our appointment is not with a maze of confusion , hopelessness or helplessness but with looking for solutions. We have the inbuilt power, wisdom and intelligence to do so.

We hold our future in our hands. What we do with our lives is a matter of deliberate choice.

Irrespective of how bad things appear to be, look on the positive side, let the obstacles serve as challenges, make the silent resolve within yourself that you are going to defeat the problem. Look deep within yourself and know that there is no problem or difficulty that is impossible to solve. Problems are like mathematics—they come with their solutions.

COPING

You are not a victim but were born with the power to win at life’s difficulties. This mind set must be accompanied by a careful analysis of what  is causing the problem or obstacle. Try to identify reasons behind those problems. Then begin  to actively look for solutions ; as you do make each day joyful and challenging. Keep in mind that the need to be afraid of the challenges, the difficulties or the problem is in all of us. Put a smile on your face and meet it head on. A smile will give you a real boost as you search for the appropriate solutions to your problem.

SELF-ESTEEM AND PROBLEM SOLVING

The way in which you perceive yourself will determine to a large extent your level of confidence in facing any problem or obstacle and how successful you will be at finding a solution.

Do you feel lovable and are you accepting of yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your failures and successes. Do you feel tolerant of and compassionate towards yourself? do you feel special. Are you your own best friend or do you feel like a nobody? Take time off to think of all your wonderful attributes. They are there. Look deep within yourself.

LEARN TO RESPECT YOURSELF Knowing who you are is one of the most vital requirements in the art of respecting yourself and developing high self-esteem, not running away from problems and recognizing that you can only gain strength by going through the fires of life. “No pain, no gain”. It is the bruises and wounds which will transform you into the dynamic and successful individual that God intended you to be. Believe in yourself. Believe in your inner resources.

You may think that it is difficult to keep on going that you have had too many disappointments. You may feel that life has been unfair to you, that it is hopeless to keep on fighting. Right now you might be inundated by a multiplicity of problems which seems insurmountable. You might even want to give up… don’t give up!

Make a mental note of your bad experience, circumstance or situation. Now ask yourself “Did I learn anything from it? Am I a stronger person because of it, did I become wiser, am I more sensitive? As you begin to realize that you have the inner power to handle anything, you will learn to believe in, to like and respect yourself a great deal more.

INTERNALIZE DETERMINATION

Lack of determination to succeed, not only robs you of energy and drive but it makes you shrink when you are confronted with problems or obstacles.

Develop the determination to succeed. You can do this by recalling past successes. Unfortunately, many of us take pleasure in dwelling on our failures rather than our successes.

Thinking of failures creates discouragement and a negative mind set. Focus on your successes. This will create new inspiration within you and make you rise above problems.

TRUST THE UNIVERSAL PRESENCE

There are times when you want to attain a goal so bad you can almost taste it, feel it, breathe it. But there are obstacles that are standing in your way which makes you feel you will fail. Doubts creep in.  You have given the problem everything that you feel you can yet the obstacle appears to be unmovable.

Don’t be discouraged. You have simply forgotten to include the God/Providence dimension. You efforts will be crowned with success. Learn well the virtues of patience. Today, you have not failed in your efforts. You have only been delayed. Keep on pushing . Each day brings you closer to a solution. All problems, all obstacles are movable. Tomorrow is another day. Success is just around the corner!

 

HOW TO FLATTEN YOUR STOMACH FOREVER

 

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By Beverly André Davis

For many people in their thirties and upwards the stomach is one of the most difficult areas to lose weight and keep consistently flat. if you fall into that age bracket you might have experienced the constant struggle with fat in the midriff and the constant yo-yo diet syndrome: losing weight followed by feeling great, caressing the waist line, beaming with pride and sense of accomplishment as you tighten your belt and feel it fit snuggly on your waist line. Sometimes you are even pleasantly surprise that you have a waistline. You had all but forgotten it’s existence. After several months your caressing hand comes across a bump and then another. You wonder when and how had it crept back. You are baffled. You all but forgot your love for mayonnaise; treating yourself to a large pizza after a hard day’s work, the quick take-away, the fries soaked in oil and of course Sunday deserts of ice-cream and a large cake plus a few extras.

Rick,  an accountant who had battled with a punch and a yo-yo diet for six and a half years  finally changed his method and lost six inches in twelve weeks; gave the following advise:

*Eat low fat meals that are nutritious. It is important that these meals are enjoyable so you will not feel deprived and be tempted to gorge on enjoyable foods.

*Healthy low fat snacks ward off hunger pangs.

*If you have the time it may be a good idea to cook your own low fat nutritious but enjoyable meals.

*Exercise regularly.

“I guarantee” said Rick “that you will be able to keep off your middle fat permanently. Although it is popularly believed that it is a losing battle to lose your potbelly permanently; people can and do get rid of unwanted beer bellies permanently.

If you’ve tried  countless times to trim your tummy, don’t despair. The hard work and persistence are well worth the effort.

YOUR BEER BELLY CAN KILL YOU

Beer bellies or  abdominal fat has been linked to heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, strokes and increased risks of some cancers.

What is an abdominal punch? It’s the unseen fat around vital internal organs such as the intestines and liver.

The experts tell us that If we fall into this category, here are the best ways to make our next tummy-flattening campaign a success:

*Eat less fat.

*cut calories

*Find the diet and exercise combination that works best for you.

Dieters who regain weight usually think flattening their tummies means giving  up all their favourite fattening foods.

*If you decide to enjoy yourself with your favourite foods do so in moderation.

MEN LOSE THEIR PUNCH FASTER THAN WOMEN

Any woman who has ever dieted with her mate knows that men lose their potbellies faster, Marc Smith’s wife Lisa, resolved to diet with him to flatten her own stomach. As the weeks went by her six foot three inch husband dropped inch after inch from his waist while Lisa four foot eleven saw her middle barely budge. Why do men seem to lose abdominal fat much more easily than women?

For one thing men have more muscle and other non-fat tissue, which burns fat even when they are asleep.

If two people weigh the same, the taller one, having more lean body mass will lose more rapidly.

TAKE SMALL SUSTAINABLE STEPS

Most of us make grand resolution when we decide to flatten our tummies. Winners usually accomplish their goals with many small victories.

They may start exercising by just walking around the block after dinner. Or they may skip butter on their pancakes. By taking small, sustainable steps, they don’t create hurdles they can’t clear.

One good way to begin is to eliminate one or two fatty foods. At lunch for example choose a turkey sandwich over tuna salad; in the bakery chose a bagel over a croissant.

Another small but crucial change: watch  less Television. When you sit  inactively before the tube, your metabolism can drop to its minimum resting rate. What is more, TV constantly tempts you with ads for fatty foods.

WHAT IS THE SECRET BEHIND EATING LOTS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES WITHOUT GAINING WEIGHT

Why can you eat a lot of fruit and vegetables without gaining weight? Because before you eat enough  to get fat, you’re  stuffed. Most fruit and vegetables consist mainly of water with a comparatively small percentage of carbohydrates. A gram of carbohydrates contains only four calories whereas a gram of fat contains nine. This means that you can have at least a pound of green beans for every ounce of butter – about 200 calories – you consume.

LOSSING YOUR TASTE FOR FAT

Some experts believe that as you lose your belly, you may also be losing your taste for fat.

CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY WORD

To get rid of that fat stomach bulge  you must burn energy. Exercise consistently – not harder but consistently.

While you may lose weight without exercise you won’t maintain your loss unless you get moving at least three times a week.

You only have to burn 300 calories more than you consume each day to lose up to 30 pounds in a year and it doesn’t matter whether you jog or weed the garden.

Aerobic or swimming burn fat fastest. But exercises that build  muscle, like weight lifting make you burn calories even while you’re asleep. Like most weight loss winners find the mix that is right for you.

NUTRITION

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By Beverly André Davis

I have a friend who seemed to have been on a strict diet all her life. Yet she seem to have difficulty losing the unwanted pounds. She finally decided to take herself in hand and look critically at the factor or factors that might be preventing her from shedding those unwanted pounds. First she looked at heredity. Did she have her parents to thank?

The experts believe that although heredity plays an essential role in some cases there are other factors that is worth consideration in the scale of unwanted pounds and difficulty in trimming off the excess baggage.

Some glandular diseases   and medications often play a role in putting on those unwanted pounds.

Many women date their weight gain to pregnancy and not shedding it after the birth of the child. “ Men can blame a sedentary lifestyle with notable lack of physical activity.”

However lifestyles, diet and physical activity are most important in fighting obesity.

However, one of the main reasons  for lack of weight loss despite dieting is regular consumption of fatty foods. In my friend’s case fatty foods was ruled as the culprit.  Although for years she reduced the amount she ate and kept up her exercise she could not shake off those pounds. She was addicted to mayonnaise. She ate little however she piled on the calories  with thick spreading of mayonnaise which is high in fat.

Health authorities recommend that our total intake of fat should be reduced to 30 percent or less of our total calories. Unfortunately, we eat too many foods that are high in fat. The average 2000 calories  diet contains 89 grams of fat (equivalent  to 8 teaspoons of butter).

Fat is hidden in many foods that we eat. Consequently, many people are unaware of which foods are high in fat or how much fat they consume.

Animal foods are the major fat culprit in our diet. One third of the fat in our diet comes from meat products and one fifth from milk and milk products.

Health authorities recommend that we consume 30 percent or less of our total calories as fat. 10 percent or less as saturated fat.

It is difficult to know how much fat is in foods. If there is nutrition information on a food label you can calculate the percentage of calories from fat in a serving of food.

For those who are good at maths a helpful nutritionist devise this method of calculating the number of calories from fat that is consumed in one serving:

  1. Multiply the number of grams of fat in one serving by nine to get the number of calories from fat.
  2. Divide the number of calories from fat by the total calories of one serving of food.
  3. Multiply the answer by 100 to determine the percentage of calories from fat in that food.

The following foods are high in calories from fat: Cream cheese, Bacon, sausages, cheddar cheese, peanuts and Brazil nuts, sunflower and sesame seeds, peanut butter, pork especially spare ribs, lamb chops, poultry especially with the skin on, sirloin roast, beef, whole milk, butter, chocolate bars, potato chips. Most of these foods are delicious and hard to ignore. However moderation will keep the pounds away.

A low fat diet is good for your health and can taste good too. You can still enjoy  a full range of flavours and favourites while choosing the types and amounts of food for a healthy diet modified in fat, saturated fat and cholesterol.

A fat reduced diet does not mean never being able to eat the foods you love. It means making gradual changes to control and modify your present diet to make it a healthier one. You can accomplish this by consuming:

*High fat foods less often

*Lower fat substitutes for example skim milk products instead of whole milk

*Smaller portions.

*Foods cooked by low fat cooking methods.

Here are some more specific guidelines:

  1. Use lean meat fish and poultry. Avoid well-marbled meats. Trim all visible fat off meat and remove skin from poultry before cooking.
  2. Eat more poultry and fish in preference to red meats.
  3. Eat controlled portions of meat, two to three ounces in one serving.
  4. Choose cooking methods that require little or no fat or oil. Grill, bake, brol, bar-b-que or steam instead of fry.
  5. Have meatless meals each week, using cooked dried peas, beans and lentils in casseroles, salads, soups or stews.
  6. Use the turkey-ham products instead of high fat luncheon meats, bologna and salami.
  7. Use smaller portions.
  8. Cook foods in wines, vinegars, fruits and vegetable juices, broths, herbs and spices instead of rich sauces.
  9. Fruits and vegetables and breads and cereals are usually high in complex carbohydrates. So fill up on these foods but be sparing with the fats you put on them.
  10. Most importantly to get rid of fat you must burn energy. Exercise consistently – not harder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JUST JUMP IN!

 

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By: Beverly André Davis

The old devil surveyed his mighty kingdom of fire. He was rather proud of himself. He was king of all the destruction he surveyed. But he was not satisfied. He wanted to conquer the world and he knew exactly how he was going to conquer it- he would simply destroy it.

He called  in his Chief Assistant.

In came Anger “Let me go and destroy man” pleaded Anger with much enthusiasm.

Next spoke Lust “I will defile man’s mind. I will make love disappear and people will be turned into beasts.

Up sprung Greed. “Allow me  to go and I will instil in people’s hearts the more destructive of all passions. Their own uncontrollable desire will destroy them.”

The twins Gluttony and Drunkenness came and told how they would make people’s bodies deceased and their minds besotted.

Envy, Jealousy and Hate each told how excellent they were at destructive behaviours.

Idleness came and claimed that he  would do the job better than any of the other assistants.

The devil was not satisfied with any of them.

Finally, his last assistant came in. “ I shall talk to people about how fine their plans are. I will be persuasive in terms of all God wants them to be. I shall tell them how fine their plans are  to be, honest, clean and brave. I shall encourage them in the good purposes of their life.”

Enraged. The devil leapt up “What! You fool. How are you going to tell them to be good. I want to destroy them not turn them good.”

“Calm down” said the confident assistant and listen carefully. I shall tell them there is no hurry. They can do all of these things tomorrow. I shall advise them to wait until conditions become more favourable before they start.”

The devil smiled broadly. His eyes glistened “You are the smartest of all my assistants. You shall go on earth to destroy all of humankind.

Procrastination smiled “Let them put off doing  until tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow” his laughter resounded throughout the world.

DON’T PUT OFF FOR TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN DO TODAY

You want to start something. A project, an activity, putting  your ideas into practice but you keep putting it off. You keep reminding yourself to do it later. Later turns into tomorrow, tomorrow becomes the end of the week, a week becomes a month, a month turns into two months, two months turn into six months, soon it is a year and later becomes the beginning of a New Year. The old years night find you in church on your knees  welcoming a New Year with the old year resolution on your new years lips and a solemn prayer in your heart as you chant your resolution like a mantra. But your heart knows that you are “going to be all things tomorrow.”

Just jump right in and do it! Don’t leave it for tomorrow.

Believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. You will be amazed at what you can achieve if you make a start and keep going at it relentlessly.

Many good deeds have been left undone because we keep putting  them off. We are afraid to try. We fill our minds with thoughts of failure.

Plunge into that task which you have been putting off. As you fight to succeed believe in a power greater than you that will pull you over the rough places to the finishing line.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stress Management: Strategies for coping with Stress

                                                      

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By: Beverly André Davis

Are you stressed out?  Being stressed out does not mean that you are not empowered. It simply means (a) you are human (b) Currently, you have not called upon your inner power to take control of your life. The important point is that being stressed does not make us  un-ok.  A lot of people these days are suffering from unavoidable stress.  We live in times of  volatile and unpredictable economic hardship no wonder most of the stress we suffer stems from:

– Money worries.

– Inability to pay our debts.

-Household Responsibilities

– Pressures on the job which translates into health concerns which stress us out even more.

Doubtlessly,  present life is economically hard. What with layoffs, high utility bills, the ever rising prices of food, housing foreclosure. No wonder we can’t seem to generate the energy to get tough when the going gets rough. Modern day life is no picnic or walk in the park.  life is complex, hectic, occasionally unpredictable. Changes, choices, decisions, getting on the roller coaster of life.

I am sympathetic to those who are drowning in a sea of hardship  but my heart breaks for the single parents out there. I was once a young mother left to support my two young children. Life was devastatingly difficult. When the recession hit and we lost our home my signature was reduced from a seven lettered name to a one letter. My trembling fingers got so knotted and shaky I just could no longer write. Along the way I learned some vital lessons about stress and how to cope effectively. Most importantly I became acquainted with the inner strength, that dynamic force that resides within each of us. Each lesson learned about the secret of  one’s power has been compiled into an incredibly inspirational  book  on Kindle Amazon to help each of us find the secret of one’s tremendous power to handle all and any of life’s difficulties.

The fact is being stressed out occasionally is a normal condition of life. Sometimes mild forms of stress might even cause us to make healthy changes in our day to day lives. The problem does not lie in stress per se but in the level of stress that we allow ourselves to carry about with us and in our inability to deal with it.

Carrying around an excessive amount of stress over a long period of time is not good at all. Excessive stress can have a destructive effect on our health and relationship and should be managed effectively before it escalate into chronic stress or even clinical depression.

 

WHAT REALLY IS STRESS

Stress is any extra physiological and/or psychological  demand made on the body.

Depending on the perceived danger or stress, our automatic nervous system releases hormones causing chemical changes. Our  heart beats faster, our breathing speeds up and blood flows into our brain.

When we do not deal with the chronic stress in our lives our body suffers wear and tear causing us to develop any one or a multiplicity of these symptoms:  Headaches, backaches, ulcers, asthma, heart attacks and other illnesses which do not have a biochemical origin.

 

HOW DOES STRESS  SHOW  ITSELF?

Stress manifest itself in various ways. If you are stressed out you may experience chronic fatigue  even after a night’s sleep. You may also experience difficulties concentrating for any meaningful length of time and experience difficulty making important decisions.  Unmotivated, unenthusiastic and discouraged you may lack interest in your day to day job. Getting out of bed in the morning becomes a hassle. Where before you were attentive and responsible towards your family you may now find yourself simply wishing to walk away from all your responsibilities. A  constant sense of defeat, hopelessness, helplessness , an overall and persistent negative outlook, withdrawal from social interactions, loss of appetite  are some of  the warning bells that tell you that stress is deepening into depression.

You should seek professional help from your GP long before you reach that critical stage.

 

EMOTIONAL OUTBURST

Mild forms of stress may also manifest itself in emotional outbursts. We may lose control and instead of dealing with the problem we are likely to shift blame and responsibility for the problem onto someone else. For example if a marital relationship produces frustration brought about by financial hardship, the stressed out partner may attempt to unload  his or her  frustration onto the other partner.

Placement of blame is a self-defeating  emotional response since one’s stressful tension is passed on within the relationship environment. The real source of frustration remains untouched  while conflict in the home escalate producing a greater degree of stress.

 

FEELING OUT OF CONTROL

Most of us tend to believe that most or all stressful situations are unpredictable and are therefore beyond our control. Consequently,  instead of attempting to solve the problem we withdraw from it since we feel either incapable of solving the problem or we think the problem is insoluble.

Ignoring  problems  does not mean that we are incapable of handling it. We can handle almost any problem if we put our mind to it. Think of the times when you have looked a problem square in the face and taken it head on AND WON! I am sure you felt a deep sense of  gratification. I know I feel wonderful when I handle what I did not want to handle.  We all feel a sense of  personal  power and belief in our ability to cope and conquer when we handle  problems successfully.

 

INTERNALIZATION

Many people handle stress through a process called internalization. They find it difficult to communicate their feelings to others. Instead of expressing their frustration and anger they hold it in. This is an unhealthy way to manage stress. It is never a good idea to bottle up underlying  stress or hug your problems to yourself.  I know you feel that if you let it out it may create conflict or you may feel it is unfair to burden others with your problems. However keep in mind that by attempting to handle intolerable amounts of psychological pressures alone, instead of decreasing the pressure tends to escalate, resulting in the build up of frustration, resentment and psychophysiological arousal such as aches, pains, poor digestion, anxiety, fatigue and so on.

The question now arises what should one do when one or more of the symptoms of stress appears?

 

HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS

You initial watch word should be: avoid unnecessary stress. We must be honest with ourselves in realising that sometimes we actually turn a mild situation into a volatile one and in so doing invite unnecessary stress into our lives.

Most of the everyday stress we feel could probably be prevented by taking control of our lives. The experts have found that mild amounts of stress can be handled effectively by making healthier choices in our actions and perceptions of the stress factors as well as having a positive  outlook on our ability to cope. Altering the situation is also another effective means of handling stress. Being  more assertive, managing your time wisely, making better choices and dealing with the stressful situation at once are all effective ways of handling everyday stress.

 

FOCUS  ON YOU INNER POWER

One of the most effective means  of managing  everyday stress is to think of your inner strength. This will lead you to appreciate your ability to cope and to take charge of your life by doing the following:

Changing  the outside pressure that is stressing you out. However, if you find it difficult or impossible to control the external pressure use your inner power to increase your internal resistance. It is important to keep in mind that you have the inner resources, the inner power or strength  within you to control your reactions to how you allow external factors to affect you. Keep in mind that events and situations in themselves do not have the power to affect us adversely. How they affect us is determined by our perception of the event or situation, whether we feel a sense of helplessness, hopelessness or a general feeling of being out of control or in control. Our self-perception in relation to our perception of the situation is paramount in determining our response and how we handle stressful events. Focusing on your inner strength will definitely allow you to deal with the problem in healthy successful ways.

 

KEEP THINGS UNDER CONTROL

Keeping things under control is a successful methods of stress management. Try to identify the situations in your life that make you feel stressed out and tense, do not shy away from your hidden anger and frustration pretending they are not there. Ignoring them will not make them go away. Look honestly at your painful feelings and begin to do something about them. We may not be able to make them disappear at once but we can find creative solutions if we look hard enough.

 

GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT

Manage your time well. Prioritize your task in terms of doing the most important ones first and so on to the least important.

 

STAY CALM AND AVOID HASSLES

Staying calm under pressure and avoiding unnecessary hassles will help you avoid and eliminate the minor irritations that can build up and eventually lead to chronic stress.

 

CONTROL  CHANGE

When faced with a positive or negative life change do what you can to limit other  changes. Take life one step at a time.

 

MIND AND BODY RELAXATION  TECHNIQUES

Mind and body relaxation techniques  calm the mind and reduce anxiety and anger. Our uncluttered minds  allow us to think more clearly  finding more effective ways of handling our lives.

Here is a list of some of the techniques I have found incredibly helpful  throughout the years. Choose a technique that appeals to you and practise it regularly  to unwind and feel calm:

-Deep Breathing. This is the most basic relaxation technique and is appropriate for those who are extremely busy and are always on the move. This exercise can be done anytime and anywhere for example while you are sitting on the train or bus or generally in the workplace while sitting at your desk during a five to ten minutes break:

Inhale slowly through your nostrils, hold in your breath for a short time then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this procedure three or four times.

Some of the other relaxation techniques that I have used which you may find useful are:

-Listening to soft, tranquil music.

-Reading the funnies. A good deep belly laugh chases the blues.

-Watching comedies.

-Watching light talk shows  such as Wendy Williams on my Computer.

-Cleaning the mind is another effective means of control and eradicating mild amounts of stress: sit comfortably in a chair in a room away from distractions and noise. Close your eyes while you mentally focus on a peaceful scene, thought or word. Do this for fifteen minutes to half an hour every day. Each session has the power to rejuvenate and refresh you.

-lie on your back on the floor. Close your eyes and draw in the most peaceful scene into your mind. This exercise has the power to relax muscles and mind.

 

PHYSICAL EXERCISE

We should also engage in physical exercise. This raises the adrenalin level allowing good feelings of empowerment to kick  in.

 

A GOOD NIGHT’S  SLEEP

The body operates effectively and happily when there is a healthy balance between work and rest. An overworked body and mind is bound to break down sooner or later.

 

A HEALTHY DIET

A healthy diet with reduced sugars and caffeine, alcoholic drinks and avoidance of nicotine is a must in avoiding excessive stress. The nutritional experts have identified the following foods that help reduce stress:

-Sweet Potatoes will fight off stress with each delicious mouthful.

-coconut, avocado, almond relaxes the brain while creating feelings of wellbeing.

 

CONNECT WITH YOURSELF.  HAVE YOU GIVEN  YOURSELF  A HUG TODAY?

Connect with others. While you are at it…..

Don’t forget to connect with yourself. Love yourself a little more. Think positively about the beautiful and strong person that you are.

Take  some ‘ME-TIME’ just some time off by yourself to regroup  and appreciate the wonderful person that you are.

Above all, as you battle the day to day pressures— slow down and live! And for goodness sake take time to constantly give yourself a hug. You deserve it!

 

To learn more about how to use your inner power to handle any problem that life throws at you check out  Woman Take Hold of Your Power and Free Yourself   an e-book on Amazon Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJ54SAQ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Get Out Of Debt: Family Finances


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By : Beverly André Davis

It is Monday morning  at 7:20 am. Before my best friend could get out of her flat I rang her door bell.  Not knowing it was me she didn’t answer it because she thought it was another debt collector. Lately she no longer answers her door bell and she is scared of opening her mail.

In today’s hard economic times most of us worry constantly about debt and not having sufficient money to meet our needs.

Faced with insurmountable financial problems, having sufficient money to meet day to day expenses has become a major concern. Finding it increasingly impossible to make a budgetary choice between “wants” and “needs” we are tempted to bury our heads in the sand.

Sometimes improving  your financial situation, or simply scrimping in these straitened times and still live well is a matter of  breaking down your financial challenges to the simplest fundamentals. Applying good old fashioned discipline and common sense goes a long way in making life just this bit easier.

As you struggle to make ends meet here are a few tips which will prove helpful.

 

FOOD

To cut running cost of foodstuff work with a budget. Before going to the supermarket make a list of the things you need and stick to the list. Additionally, don’t miss out on supermarket freebies.

Making use of supermarket point values is a good way of cutting running cost on foodstuff.

Buy cheaper everyday products. Buy supermarket brands instead of fashionable brand. You might be paying a higher price for brand names instead of the quality of the goods. Most supermarket brands may be found on lower shelves. Keep in mind discount brands work just as well as their more expensive counterpart.

Visit the market to get fresh fruits, vegetables, eggs, legumes and a host of other foodstuffs which can be bought for half the value sold in supermarkets.

Legumes such as red-beans and lentils when cooked thoroughly make a delicious and excellent source of protein.

Eggs and legumes can replace meats and fish once or twice a week.

While you are at it fresh fruits such as oranges and lime sweetened slightly with honey make excellent substitutes for boxed juice, they are fresher, cheaper and contain less sugar.

While you are at it also look for discount on food.  Foodstuffs that are nearing the expiry date are often marked down.

For active children who tend to burn excessive calories quickly and need lots of carbohydrates, it may be a good idea to buy pasta and rice in bulk which is cheaper in the long run.

 

LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS

Take an inventory on what you spend most of your money on. Cut back on things such as:

Booze

Takeaways

Women spend a tremendous amount of money on beauty and fashion while men tend to overspend on equipment and music. Cut back may be made in these two areas.

Recently I was aghast at how much I am spending on fashion. This is an area in which I am an emotional buyer. I am swept in the moment. Convinced that a beautiful dress is a ‘must have’ I am immediately swept into a sense of urgency in which I reason with myself that if I do not grab it off the rack it will disappear. I have made a pledge to myself to buy clothing on discount and only if it is absolutely necessary.

 

OTHER AREAS

Spending can be reduced considerably in utility bills by switching off lights in rooms and hallways not in use.

We can also utilize DIY and buy only when items are on sale.

 

IN DEBT

If you are in debt you can get help finding finance deals that suit your credit profile as part of Experian credit expert membership. If you are planning or switching forms of credit, avoid making several application in a short space of time as lenders could believe that you’re in financial difficulties.

Be cognizant of your net worth. The amount of debt that you may be submerged in and the value of your assets.

 

MONEY MANAGEMENT

Budget your money wisely. How do you manage your money? You may never be able to afford everything  you might need or want. Consequently you need to spend wisely.

Before making a purchase consider carefully whether it is necessary or affordable.

Plan your purchases properly

Before going to the supermarket make a list of  the things that you really need—a list helps avoid  impulse buying.

Before making any  major purchase consider carefully whether:

  1. Something more economical can be bought instead
  2. The reason for buying that particular product
  3. Consider the right or wrong time for buying the product
  4. Lastly ask yourself the searching question “is the product really necessary?”

Budget a certain amount every month for unforeseen circumstances.

If there is something expensive that you need to buy you can put aside some money each month until you have the necessary amount.

 

PAY BILLS  PERIODICALLY

You should attempt to pay your monthly bills periodically and not allow them to accumulate until the amount becomes insurmountable.

For annual bills such as property tax and insurance put away a certain percentage in your savings each month

 

CONTROL YOUR DEBT

Go on a cash basis for virtually all consumption purchases. ‘Consumption Debt’ is one of the greatest obstacles for achieving a sound or balanced financial status. Getting into debt to buy consumption items has many disadvantages including the following: (a) the value on ‘consumption items’ depreciate with time and (b) you will be paying interest on perishable goods.

 

DON’T GET INTO DEBT BUT IF YOU MUST………..

Don’t get into debt but if you must do so wisely. If you have to borrow money do so to buy products or services on which the value does not depreciate for example a home in which the product can be sold at a later date for more than its original value.

 

FINALLY

Set financial goals. Goals help the family set its priorities. Three important  financial goals are: children’s future education, new home, retirement, pension.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Meet the Ideal Man of Your Dreams

800px-People_in_love                                              By: Beverly André Davis

Most of us women are visual entities. Men are no different.  On first encounter the eyes of a man will seek you out. If he likes what he sees his eyes will make you his focal point. This is most likely to be the case if you have a well groomed appearance which he finds attractive.

Most  women I know want to be noticed. They want to be seen as desirable especially by that special man whom you have you eye on.

Some women may find male attention not only good for the ego but empowering. For women who have a healthy appreciation for male attention but find it painfully difficult to catch his eye here are a few tips to engage in to win him to your side without selling yourself for one night of approval. These steps are simple and within the reach of every woman.

 

A CHEERFUL PERSONALITY GOES A LONG WAY

Cheerfulness is a powerful factor in winning your eye-candy or anyone to your side. We cannot smile genuinely and remain alone.

Encouraging remarks go hand in hand with a cheerful personality and a positive outlook on life.

During conversation make eye contact but don’t act too desperate. Listen during conversation, smile, show interest in what he is saying. No man can forget a woman who shows interest in what he has to say

Cheerful thoughts do us more good than dreary ones and transform us into the kind of woman a man would WANT to meet without expecting her to sell herself in exchange for his approval.

 

LOVE YOURSELF

Perhaps in the past you have been too hard on yourself and this has prevented you from seeing the best in yourself. It is time you take a good and honest look at the wonderful mirrored image of who you really are. I am sure you will be surprised to come face to face with this gentle, wonderful and intelligent person. Perhaps you have been so busy elevating others around you while you put yourself down  that the real YOU has become submerged beneath layers upon layers of negative thoughts about yourself that you have forgotten whom you really are and instead began to identify yourself with the pile of negative thinking which has nothing to do with the real you. Well no more! Wash yourself clean of those harmful thoughts and take a good look at who has  been there all along.

The good strong and worthwhile you. Not the you that you usually see through eyes of pain, disappointments, disillusionment and failures but the one that you do not take time off to examine and appreciate, the one with hidden potentials. Know that you are wonderfully  and beautifully made in the image of our Creator. Knowing who you are is one of the most vital requirements in the art of respecting yourself and making others like you and of course accepting the admiration of your eye-candy without having to sell yourself.

 

BE CAREFUL

We all have the need to want to enjoy approval and acceptance from others. This is a healthy and normal human need because many of us see ourselves through the eyes of others. Be careful that people see you as you are and not through eyes filled with jealousies, bitterness and their own deep sense of inferiority. The key is to believe in yourself, believe in your inner resources, your inner strength.

MAKE CHANGES

A prime motivator for getting others to like you is making an effort to change the things about yourself that you do not like. You cannot feel good about yourself if you have certain character traits, behaviours  or attitude which you do not like. Do the following in order to begin vigorously attacking those changeable character traits:

Make two Lists:

  1. Outline all the reasons why you like and respect yourself.
  2. In the second list outline all the reasons why you don’t like yourself and find it difficult to respect yourself.

Put the list outlining your good attributes on the wall of your bedroom  where you can see it every morning before getting out of bed and every night before falling asleep.

The list outlining the changes you wish to make is the first step in transforming yourself. Now look through that list. If there are certain traits which you can change with your inner strength, begin at once to do so. Do not procrastinate. The longer you put it off the more you will become discouraged and the harder it will be for you to initiate any changes within yourself.

Only when you can come up with a list of self respecting  values and behaviours can you feel good about yourself. the woman who feels worthwhile in her own eyes does not sell herself for any man’s approval.

Of course there are times when you will doubt yourself, when your mood will swing downwards, when life will not go the way you have planned or think it should. There are times when you may think that everything is working against you. It is at those times you will doubt yourself the most and you will feel unimportant and miniature. When this happens please don’t rush outdoors seeking  approval from the first man who smiles at you. Instead, stay indoors, take out your list of good attributes and remind yourself that despite the occasional disenchantment of life you are still this marvellous woman. Also remind yourself that everyone has those days when nothing seem to be going according to plan or that life simply stinks. That too shall pass away.

 

ARE YOU YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY

Strive not to judge yourself by other peoples’ negative standards of you, if you  hear unkind things about yourself engage in any one of the following options:

-ignore them

-Stop, listen, examine. Is there any truths to what is being said? If there is begin at once to change the behaviour that is inviting negative attention.

 

The following are some strong don’ts.

 

DON’T BE A FRAUD

Some people engage in masquerading as someone whom they are not in an effort to be liked, appreciated and welcomed into the in-crowd.

No one trust or like a fake. We all tend to believe that there is a tendency in a fake person to manipulate others. We are wary and suspicious of those whom we think wants to get to know us for less than trustworthy purposes. The fake person  can fake it as much as he or she likes but the only person the fake person eventually turns out to fool is themselves. Stick around the same people for  too long and someone will eventually  spot your falseness and deception. Eventually you will be unmasked and when you are you will feel the full brunt of rejection and disdain.

No one likes to be made a fool of. And that’s exactly what the fake person will be doing when they try to pass off  as someone whom they are not. In essence Falseness says ‘I have no respect for your intelligence. You will believe anything I tell you.

Most fake people suffer from deep levels of insecurity or inferiority so they try to assume a definition of themselves which gives them a sense of assurance and self-sufficiency. This gives them the courage to meet others on equal terms.

The sense of isolation which an inferiority complex creates is bridged by identifying ourselves with those whom we think have enviable character traits.

Don’t be something that you are not. Be yourself. Figure out the qualities that make you special and different. Perhaps you have a unique sense of humour or some hidden talent that you are too shy to show others. Act confidently, be friendly and enjoy who you are.

 

DON’T ACT INFERIOR

Those who suffer from a sense of inferiority suffer agonies at the thought of meeting strangers. We agonise over what to say to them, how to behave. We portray traits of servility stemming from a sense of inadequacy. Most often than not the inferiority sufferer is a people pleaser always striving to be liked by everyone.

 

DON’T BE ARROGANT

Most people who portray arrogance have a deep sense of superiority. They have a constant need to subjugate others since they find it difficult to accept the value of another person.

A sense of superiority is often based on superficial or outward trappings such as what the other person looks like, the clothes they wear, where they live and so on.

Superiority is actually the opposite end on the spectra of inferiority. Most people who feel the deep need to behave in ways in which they devalue another person are unable to accept their own worth and consequently engage in put-downs to make themselves feel worthwhile.

Superior and inferior people tend to portray the same traits: traits that are unhealthy and push people away instead of drawing people to them. These are some undesirable traits: cynicism, rejection, snobbery and arrogance.

People who are comfortable in their own skin are not inferior or superior. They are friendly and accepting of others.

 

IF THE MAN YOU SAW ON THE TRAIN……

If the man you saw on the train turned out to be disappointing here are some great places to meet that special man without selling yourself:

Clubs: sports clubs, dance clubs

Social gatherings

Committees

Reading clubs

Church Clubs

Social networking sites.

In reference to Social Networking sites: for goodness sake practice caution and extreme care. With all the unsavoury things that go on through social networking I caution care, not desperation. Please act with the outmost responsibly towards yourself. Never go to a secluded place to meet a stranger, it does not matter if you think you are of an advanced responsible age just take good care of yourself. Invite the acquaintance to meet family and friends. Date  for a lengthy period of time while you learn more and more about the person’s character and value system before getting yourself emotionally or sexually involved. Please date in public places and not in private out of the way little holes.

When you meet that special man, initially watch your body language don’t give out vibes that you are ready to jump into selling yourself at the first opportunity. A woman ready for a quick roll in the hay is actually a turn off to some men. Don’t think that every man out there is on the prowl. Some are looking for a beautiful stable relationship. If you too are looking for a long term relationship possible marriage here are a few tips to recognize the qualities of Mr. Fit-Well.

 

MR. FIT-WELL

Choosing  a life partner is one of the most important choices any person must make. The kind of choice you make will resonant in your life for many years.

Mr. Fit-Well may walk straight out of a romantic novel with the face and body of Fabio dripping with sexuality or he may be your average looking man……. he is mature, loyal with a profound sense of responsibility, respect and love towards you. He respects and likes you as a person and enjoys your company. he is supportive of your ambition. He is compassionate and understanding. He knows his strength and intelligence…………. he is not threatened by your strength but values those characteristics as a compliment to his masculinity.

 

If you want to know more about the qualities that make the best life partners and the kind of potential partner that you should avoid check out my e-book Woman Take Hold of Your Power and Free Yourself on Kindle Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJ54SAQ